Why do programmers always get Christmas and Halloween mixed up? 
Because DEC 25 = OCT 31 


- "Have you heard about the object-oriennted way to become wealthy?" 
- "No..." 
- "Inheritance." 



The boy is smoking and leaving smoke rings into the air. 
The girl gets irritated with the smoke and says to her lover: "Can't you see the warning written on the cigarettes packet, smoking is injurious to health!" 
The boy replies back: "Darling, I am a programmer. We don't worry about warnings, we only worry about errors." 


In C we had to code our own bugs. In C++ we can inherit them. 

C gives you enough rope to hang yourself. C++ also gives you the tree object to tie it to. 

Why all Pascal programmers ask to live in Atlantis? 
Because it is below C level. 

Have you heared they are developing an Object Oriented version of COBOL? 
Named : ADD 1 TO COBOL 



Programming Languages are Like Cars 
Assembler: A formula I race car. Very fast but difficult to drive and maintain. 
FORTRAN II: A Model T Ford. Once it was the king of the road. 
FORTRAN IV: A Model A Ford. 
FORTRAN 77: a six-cylinder Ford Fairlane with standard transmission and no seat belts. 
COBOL: A delivery van. It's bulky and ugly but it does the work. 
BASIC: A second-hand Rambler with a rebuilt engine and patched upholstery. Your dad bought it for you to learn to drive. You'll ditch it as soon as you can afford a new one. 
PL/I: A Cadillac convertible with automatic transmission, a two-tone paint job, white-wall tires, chrome exhaust pipes, and fuzzy dice hanging in the windshield. 
C++: A black Firebird, the all macho car. Comes with optional seatbelt 
C++(lint) and optional fuzz buster (escape to assembler).
ALGOL 60: An Austin Mini. Boy that's a small car. 
ALGOL 68: An Aston Martin. An impressive car but not just anyone can drive it. 
Pascal: A Volkswagon Beetle. It's small but sturdy. Was once popular with intellectual types. 
LISP: An electric car. It's simple but slow. Seat belts are not available. 
PROLOG/LUCID: Prototype concept cars. 
FORTH: A go-cart. 
LOGO: A kiddie's replica of a Rolls Royce. Comes with a real engine and a working horn. 
APL: A double-decker bus. It takes rows and columns of passengers to the same place all at the same time but it drives only in reverse and is instrumented in Greek. 
Ada: An army-green Mercedes-Benz staff car. Power steering, power brakes, and automatic transmission are standard. No other colors or options are available. If it's good enough for generals, it's good enough for you. 
Java: All-terrain very slow vehicle. 



Why Client Server Computing is like Teenage Sex 
 It is on everybody's mind all the time. 
 Everyone is talking about it all the time. 
 Everyone thinks everyone else is doing it. 
 Almost no one is really doing it. 
 The few who are doing it are: 
    doing it poorly; 
    sure it will be better next time; 
    not practicing it safely.